My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
