this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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