Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
