he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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