No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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