wat bout pragnant strippers??
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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