Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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