Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
