So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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