You're so nebulous sometimes
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
