he wants to bone in the snuggie
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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