if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
