How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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