Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
