She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
