just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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