They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
