Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
