Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
