Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
