Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
