when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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