Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
