So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
