we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
