"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
