i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
