You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
