you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
