I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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