Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
