My liver just broke up with me...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
