I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I want to be your penis for a week.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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