So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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