dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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