He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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