That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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