So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so let's talk penis.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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