Betty ford says i'm here all night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
