lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
