You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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