It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
