thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
