$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
