Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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