My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
