How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
