I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Drunk is a universal language darling
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