girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
