I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
A+ Viking dick
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
