He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
