Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
