At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
thus making me awesome and them whores
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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